Going places that scare me: Challenging Male Supremacy

I came across this article on Autonomy and Solidarity. Its interesting because it is written by a male who seems to be genuinely struggling with his sexism and privilege. He can’t be said to have “succeded” at unprivileging himself, but he does highlight different techniques that were used to confront him about his sexism. The most interesting point was that after refraining from speaking in meetings, waiting for women to speak, trying to listen to women, he has a moment of realisation: even the actions he took to redress his privilege were actions of power. For a man to just say “I recognise gender privilege and sexism” is an action that privileges him as an “enlightened man”.

This article might form a good basis for sistas who did want to confront their male friends about sexism.

I struggle everyday to really listen to voices I identify as women’s. I know my mind wanders quicker. I know that my instant reaction is take men’s opinions more seriously. I know that when I walk into rooms full of activists I instantly scan the room and divide people into hierarchies of status (how long they’ve been active, what groups they’ve been part of, what they’ve written and where it’s been published, who are their friends). I position myself against them and feel the most competitive with men. With those I identify as women, the same status hierarchies are tallied, but sexual desirabilty enters my hetero mindset. What is healthy sexual attraction and desire and how does it relate to and survive my training to systematically sexualize women around me? This gets amplified by the day-to-day reality that this society presents women as voiceless bodies to serve hetero-male desire, we know that. But what does it mean for how I communicate with my partners who are women and who I organize with? How does it translate into how I make love, want love, express love, conceptualize love? I’m not talking about whether or not I go down on my partner or say I love you, I’m talking about whether or not I truly value equality in our relationships over getting off on a regular basis.